Potty Training Guide
We recently embarked on the wonderful journey of potty training our second child. I was running on my last box of diapers and didn’t feel like spending an extra $40 just for convenience. Groceries are already expensive, right? I decided to make the jump and dive head-first into my second attempt at potty training. No looking back and no backing down, I was determined to make this potty training experience just as successful (if not more so) than my first.
Backstory: I potty trained my oldest when he was 29 months old. I was already changing two diapers at the same time and my inner-lazy thoughts were getting frustrated. I had heard over and over (and over) that “boys are harder, slower, take longer, etc. to potty train” and I was totally intimidated. That is probably why I waited until he was 2.5 to begin with.
I started reading online about different tips and tricks and then someone recommended “Oh Crap! Potty Training” to me. I rented it from the library right before we went on a short road trip. I read the whole thing in a couple hours and decided I would start the moment we got back. The result? My 2.5 year old boy was fully potty trained (with rare accidents even at night) in about 5 weeks. Safe to say, we were shocked.
Tip #1 – Read “Oh Crap: Potty Training”
If you haven’t already read through this book, now is the time to do so. Even if you have an 18 month old, this book will give you great advice. A lot of my advice is borrowed from this book. However, there are a couple things we have done as a spin off to aid our potty training experience. You can buy the book HERE or try and find it at your local library, which is what I did.
Tip #2 – Don’t neglect the hype
We made sure the second time around doing potty training that we didn’t skimp on the hype of being a “big boy”. My second was about to turn 2 when we started. We started officially potty training on April 30th but started talking about how cool it was to go on the potty at the end of March/beginning of April. We talked about when big brother when on the toilet and when mommy and daddy went on the toilet too.
If we could tell he was about to poop, we would quick put him on the toilet and see if he would try every once in a while. We never forced it and always tried to make it a fun, “big kid” experience. To begin with, we always did VERBAL positive affirmations. We also did things like high-fives, hugs, and other physical affirmations. That leads me right into my next tip.
One other thing I did was I took note of when Henry wanted to start seeing his poop in his dirty diaper. At first I showed him and then I started saying he could only see/look at his poop if he went int the toilet. If he did ever go on the toilet I would make sure to study the poop with him and talk about the color, smell, shape, and how HUGE it was (gross, I know! But boys especially love this). Henry has gone on the toilet lots of times at this point and we still have to comment on almost every poop.
Tip #3 – Lead with verbal/physical affirmations
You hear lots of people having success with treats and M&M’s as rewards for using the potty. Sure! Those are great. But I don’t think you need to start with them. In my opinion, they are a slippery slope. Maybe it’s my kids. They LOVE sugar.
When we decided to officially start with my youngest, I made him a visual cue to help him know when he would get treats. Even though he didn’t get a treat every time, he ALWAYS got verbal praise and usually a hug or high-five. I always affirmed that he was “such a big boy” and how proud I was of him. I never lead with “don’t you want an M&M?”. I know he would always say yes! If you have done that method and it worked for your kids, that is WONDERFUL. I believe all kids are different and those differences are to be celebrated.
Tip #4 – Create a visual cue
Chances are you have a visually child, most children are. So make something that inspires them and motivates them. I loved the game Candyland as a kid and was inspired to make a sort of “potty journey” for my second. I don’t remember doing this with my first.
Since my boys are into all things reptiles, dinosaurs, and sharks, I made a very big “potty snake” on a colorful piece of card stock. I accidentally made the “rattle” of the snake look a little graphic so don’t mind that please! It really was supposed to be a rattle.
I started with treats almost every time he went on the potty at first. Note: Accidents were not counted on this chart and were not rewarded with a sticker. I’ll talk about how I handled accidents in a second. Slowly, very slowly, I started spacing out the treats so that he learned delay of gratification AND didn’t expect them every time.
I taped a sticker sheet on the back of this page so that it was readily available and always let him pick the sticker and try and put it on himself. This is one of the “rewards” he gets for going on the potty. Don’t leave out those rewards, big or small.
Tip #5 – Reward, reward, reward!
Mama, this is the most fun part of potty training! Don’t leave it out even after a year of being fully potty trained! I still praise my 3.5 year old son who goes 100% on his own day and night. When he walks out of the bathroom I usually ask if he has washed his hands and then say, “Great job, big kid”. Also, he does get little treats for helping support his younger brother as he learns to go on the potty too. Don’t leave this one out.
One of the goofiest rewards we have given our children is the reward of dumping out their poo/pee into the big toilet after they are finished. So silly, I know. But, if I were to dump it out without them they would be really disappointed. I generally let them flush it too because that always is such a cool thing.
I already mentioned the stickers and treats so don’t forget those! One last thing I will mention is (tactfully) praising your son/daughter’s hard work in front of others. When Henry’s grandparents were over the other day, I made sure to say how great a job he is doing in front of him and them. To see the look of pride on his face when the people he loved praised him was priceless.